September 21, 2026
Living Above the Frey
Fray is one of my favorite words. Nonetheless, I choose to avoid a fray at almost any cost. I am learning to survive offense! I can be offended but I have always been surprised at people who will leave a church, a marriage, a friendship or a job over an offense. I am aware most offenses are unintentional. Sometimes people snap because a situation reminds them of an earlier argument or experience that hurt them deeply. Or they’re simply hungry, preoccupied or have a headache. If one takes an offense and builds on it, thinks of things to say in return and basically nurses the thing until there is a grudge, no good outcome can occur. It’s just easier to forgive, cover the offense with love and move on.
God called me at the beginning of this year to develop an unoffendable heart. I have experienced the strength to overcome one offense, to smile and ignore it and it honestly felt good. I think people have to experience that at least once before they restrict offense as a behavior they employ. We’ve all seen families, churches, companies and marriages ripped apart by the offendable heart. Thank you God, for never leaving us uninformed or uncorrected!
In a strange way, today’s culture of blame, shame and ridicule has brought forth an awakening in many people. In a world where it is claimed you can have everything and be whatever you want, it is best to give grace. We see so much public shaming, so many instances of going back years and hauling people’s ancient sins to be hung out in public view. It’s a whole lot like those stocks they used to put people in in the middle of town. A public shaming practice we should have never brought into today. Grace is a gift. To overlook an offense, to ignore it and move on is very convicting. We need to do that every day.
Understanding the root of bitterness and its awful consequences on mind and body and personality gives us a fighting chance to remove anger and impatience. Sometimes people have no idea why they are quick triggered with rage, cussing and self-righteousness. I once wondered why I had anger issues and prayed the Prayer of Jabez specifically over that question. A long-forgotten wound was revealed quickly and while it took time, I was able to successfully deal with that old situation. God is kind and generous. He reveals things we do not remember when they are the cause a root of bitterness is inside us!
It is a constant challenge to give grace, to forgive easily and not even notice irritating things.
Lord God, Loving others as we love ourselves allows us to use the same grace and rationalization on other’s motives as we use on our own. If we do not intend to hurt feelings, to misrepresent, or start rumors, why would they? Help me find a tender heart, a listening ear, and a loving spirit so I never judge harshly or bear false witness.
Inside, the people were all shouting, some one thing and some another. Everything was in confusion. In fact, most of them didn’t even know why they were there. Acts 19:32